WWCHE Thoughts
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
From Alison's Desk: Hope Makes Not Ashamed
While chatting with guests at a family dinner my friend, a mother of many young ones, asked, “When was it that this table quit being a zoo and became a refuge?” Although, I was clueless (though thankful!) about the transition, I replied that the fact it happened at all is cause for great hope!
Our crazy days of parenting young ones are legendary. The house was rarely clean, meals were wild, laundry impossible. There was school to teach, a flurry of extracurricular activities, and we were ministering to a constant stream of people. Besides chasing toddlers, teaching the “3 R's”, I was also guiding teenagers into the wider world, chauffeuring them around Atlanta, sometimes daily, for various interests. There was never enough time, energy or money, but there was always plenty of chaos, noise and mess. Sad to say, my frustrated perfectionism stole much of the delight of playful childhood, and I have regretted often being cranky, demanding and performance oriented with my husband and children during those intense years. Often it seemed the best course would be to just quit the insanity - put the kids in public school and content myself with the normal “soccer mom” routine. I hung on for two reasons. First of all, this was God’s clear call for our family, and secondly, there was no suitable alternative. I desired something more excellent than “normal” for my family and realized that “extraordinary” needed to start in my heart.
I am not sure where I would be without loving friends who ignored the chaos to invest in me personally. One morning a grandmotherly friend dropped in only to discover me still in my robe, our living room trashed, with the toddler wrapping the furniture in toilet paper—that morning’s solution to keeping him occupied while I worked with the older kids. Thankfully, she laughingly swept the newspapers off the sofa to find a seat to chat awhile. God provided other help too. Dear friends pitched in at critical times, and the Lord brought timely encouragement. However, the greatest blessing came after our sixth child was born. My husband, seeing me flounder in the responsibilities, brought his heart home—really home. He dropped out of a blue grass band, and quit coaching soccer. Believing it was God first, family second and ministry third; he stepped back from his church responsibilities to join me in the family trenches. I don’t know what I would have done without his “whatever-it-takes” heart.
Desperate to lay my head down at night without guilt, I began to cry before the Lord for relief. I had a distinct impression I needed to simplify my expectations and, with God’s help, narrowed my list down to three-four things to focus on each day. It may sound crazy, but the freedom to do a little well, released me to accomplish much, much more.
The same thing happened when I began making home organization a priority. Funny thing, when things became more orderly, our home became more peaceful.
Finally, through God’s grace, things began to slowly improve. The children learned to dress themselves make their beds, fold clothes and read. After what seemed like millions of repeated instructions, they began to take over the dishes, laundry and household chores. Young adults began to drive, taking over errands and the siblings began to get along! I think the last one who spilled milk or broke a glass—was me!
But best of all our children began to seek the Lord, and value His word. They began to look for ways to serve and encourage others. They learned to study on their own, and, if not diligently, then regularly, practice their music, sport or art.
With one child in full-time Christian ministry, two in college, and four more pushing forward in their personal studies and spiritual growth, I see how God has proved the promise of Galatians 6:9. “And let us not grow weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap if we faint not.” If, like me, you struggle to keep your home reasonably hygienic, the children corrected and the laundry done, or if you wonder how on earth the children will ever get educated, there is hope. As we doggedly, though imperfectly, seek to do what God has set before us, He will multiply our resources like the widow’s oil. He gives more grace: to help us do what we can with what we have, and to trust Him for the difference.
“ Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts, and establish you in every good word and work” (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17).
Our crazy days of parenting young ones are legendary. The house was rarely clean, meals were wild, laundry impossible. There was school to teach, a flurry of extracurricular activities, and we were ministering to a constant stream of people. Besides chasing toddlers, teaching the “3 R's”, I was also guiding teenagers into the wider world, chauffeuring them around Atlanta, sometimes daily, for various interests. There was never enough time, energy or money, but there was always plenty of chaos, noise and mess. Sad to say, my frustrated perfectionism stole much of the delight of playful childhood, and I have regretted often being cranky, demanding and performance oriented with my husband and children during those intense years. Often it seemed the best course would be to just quit the insanity - put the kids in public school and content myself with the normal “soccer mom” routine. I hung on for two reasons. First of all, this was God’s clear call for our family, and secondly, there was no suitable alternative. I desired something more excellent than “normal” for my family and realized that “extraordinary” needed to start in my heart.
I am not sure where I would be without loving friends who ignored the chaos to invest in me personally. One morning a grandmotherly friend dropped in only to discover me still in my robe, our living room trashed, with the toddler wrapping the furniture in toilet paper—that morning’s solution to keeping him occupied while I worked with the older kids. Thankfully, she laughingly swept the newspapers off the sofa to find a seat to chat awhile. God provided other help too. Dear friends pitched in at critical times, and the Lord brought timely encouragement. However, the greatest blessing came after our sixth child was born. My husband, seeing me flounder in the responsibilities, brought his heart home—really home. He dropped out of a blue grass band, and quit coaching soccer. Believing it was God first, family second and ministry third; he stepped back from his church responsibilities to join me in the family trenches. I don’t know what I would have done without his “whatever-it-takes” heart.
Desperate to lay my head down at night without guilt, I began to cry before the Lord for relief. I had a distinct impression I needed to simplify my expectations and, with God’s help, narrowed my list down to three-four things to focus on each day. It may sound crazy, but the freedom to do a little well, released me to accomplish much, much more.
The same thing happened when I began making home organization a priority. Funny thing, when things became more orderly, our home became more peaceful.
Finally, through God’s grace, things began to slowly improve. The children learned to dress themselves make their beds, fold clothes and read. After what seemed like millions of repeated instructions, they began to take over the dishes, laundry and household chores. Young adults began to drive, taking over errands and the siblings began to get along! I think the last one who spilled milk or broke a glass—was me!
But best of all our children began to seek the Lord, and value His word. They began to look for ways to serve and encourage others. They learned to study on their own, and, if not diligently, then regularly, practice their music, sport or art.
With one child in full-time Christian ministry, two in college, and four more pushing forward in their personal studies and spiritual growth, I see how God has proved the promise of Galatians 6:9. “And let us not grow weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap if we faint not.” If, like me, you struggle to keep your home reasonably hygienic, the children corrected and the laundry done, or if you wonder how on earth the children will ever get educated, there is hope. As we doggedly, though imperfectly, seek to do what God has set before us, He will multiply our resources like the widow’s oil. He gives more grace: to help us do what we can with what we have, and to trust Him for the difference.
“ Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts, and establish you in every good word and work” (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17).
